New Year's Resolutions

Going into a new decade and new year, it is probable that many players and coaches have some resolutions. So The Manchise decided we would try to figure out what some of those Resolutions would be. We present to you: The Top Ten New Year's Resolutions for some of our favorite (and not so favorite) people in sports.

10. Tim Tebow -

I, the holy and imperishable Tim Tebow only have two New Year Resolutions. In 2010, I want to abolish all sin in America, and throw for at least 20-touchdowns as an NFL rookie (because we all know I will be starting. I'm the greatest quarterback to ever play college football!). I am Tim Tebow, and I am that DANG good.

9. LeBron James -

My New Year's Resolution will be to completely put a team into the deepest hole imaginable, giving them NO money to spend to create a team around me. Plus Kobe is just going to keep winning anyways, and the Big-Three plus 'Sheed still have not lost their legs yet (come on Garnett, are you serious? Aren't the miles that the Timberwolves put on you affecting those knees yet? Doesn't your head hurt from hitting it 82-games a year?). So, Hello New York! I'm ok going down as one of the "greatest players to NEVER win"! I like Chuck, The Mailman, and Patrick Ewing very much.

8. Landon Donavan -

New Year Resolutions? I have a ton of them! One, I want to be THE star of the L.A. Galaxy. Two, I never want to see "Beck's" and Posh Spice again. Three, I want to win one game in the 2010 World Cup. We could not have gotten a better draw, so expectations are even higher than they were in 2006 (but I ask all of you to remember, we are still Americans playing soccer, so don't hold your breath).

7. Alex Rodriguez -

Alex Rodriguez has an MVP trophy, a World Series ring, and gold gloves. Alex Rodriguez does not have New York in the palm of his hands like stupid Derek Jeter does, and that angers Alex. You won't like Alex when he's angry! My New Year's Resolution is to completely ruin the Jeter name. I will start sending People Magazine, National Inquirer, and the arch-nemesis of Alex, The New York Times, stories about "Jeet's" infidelity to Minka. Alex will then text Buster Olney about how Jeter is demanding a trade out of New York, and how he hates this dirty city. I'll then do another interview with Peter Gammons and tell him that Jeter told me he has been on HGH for 10-years, and asked me if my dear cousin could supply that dirty drug! And after all of that, Alex will run NEW YORK CITY, and soon the WORLD!!!! BAHAHAHA. (YURI!!! Time for Alex's shot!)

6. Kobe Bryant -

Kobe Bryant doesn't make resolutions, I make promises. So my New Year's Promise will be this and only this: I will prove that I am better than anyone that has ever played in the NBA! How will I do this? I will train, and train, and train. I will spend 18-hours a day in the gym shooting, dribbling, going through situations, working on defense, taking defenses 1 on 5, and texting 'Bron 'Bron about how bad I want another Finals trophy, and how I will do ANYTHING to get it. KOBE!

5. Alexander Olvechkin -

(In the perfect Ivan Drago voice) I, Alexander Ovechkin of Mother Russia, have only one New Year Resolution. I will break Sidney Crosby!

4. Reggie Bush -

Man, the only Resolution I'm going to make is to get that crazy (expletive), Kim Kardashian to stop calling me. That family is crazy! Bruce looks like a wax figurine, momma Dash acts like she is dating me (cuz she lives vicariously through Kim), and those poor little girls are going to be major (expletive). Man, New Orleans ain't far enough away from those (expletive).

3. Lou Holtz -

Dr. Lou is in the house, and I have some New Year Resolutions for you all! As a doctor, I realize my patients don't like when I spit on them, so Dr. Lou is taking measures into his own brilliant hands. I will be wearing surgical masks throughout 2010. I also realize that I offend many college football fans on a daily basis, so I will stop demanding that Notre Dame play in the National Championship....NOT! The Doctor is out.

2. Brett Favre -

Something about Mississippi does me in. It makes me crazy. I can't make a decision about much of anything. What do I want for breakfast, Cheerios or Cap'n Crunch? I'll stare at the boxes for two hours. Do I want to throw a little bit at the local high school? This decision requires me to sit in my car for another four hours. Then, tough questions start coming to my mind, like do I want to return to the NFL, or will I return to the Vikings? I'll end up having four press conferences all saying something different. So what is my New Year's Resolution? Well I don't know if I want to make one just yet, let me think.

1. Tiger Woods -

2010, well gee, I don't know. In 2009, I made a Resolution to try and beat Wilt Chamberlain's record by sleeping with more than 20,000 woman (while remaining married). That didn't work out very well. I guess I could finally beat Nicklaus' Majors record, but that means I have to come out of my hide out. I think I'll just stick with my original Resolution! Watch out ladies, there is a Tiger on the loose!

Heartbreak Haymakers

When we began posting just a short time ago, we attempted to provide full disclosure, a disclaimer warning any potential readers that we are, among other things, not experts and are extremely biased. This site is meant to be a collection of our views, opinions and thoughts. That disclaimer included notes warning that we loved the Cardinals, Sox, Bears, Bulls and Hawkeyes. We noted we hate the Cubs and Cyclones and finished with a note warning that we may develop other, more severe biases. For the second time this week, we are now posting about the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. In the spirit of our previous full disclosure, I would like to say now that this is not a new found hatred for the Irish. While there are some things we do despise about ND (as previously evidenced), it just so happens that they have been great as of late at getting their pretty little faces all over the news. Amidst all the talk of Charlie Wiess getting canned and the sub-par season the team is having (again), comes the news that a disgruntled fan threw a haymaker to the face of a (supposedly) unsuspecting Jimmy Clausen. Some reports indicate Clausen may have pushed the fan first, while others simply say the two were in an argument - either way, not the best news for Irish Nation. Since this news broke in the early part of the week, we have had some thoughts bouncing around those little ADD minds of ours. We understand Clausen is not the most liked quarterback outside of South Bend and I would imagine there are many other football fans around the country that would have loved the opportunity to take a shot at Clausen. So that had us to thinking: if you could punch one college quarterback square in the face with no repercussions, who would it be? Would you like to cold clock Clausen? How about giving Tebow a love tap to the face? I know there are a few of you out there that would kill for the chance to crush Christensen in the beak. So this is your chance to sound off. Tell us which college QB, if given the chance, you would most like to take a shot at. Be sure to give us the dirty details. Why do you hate them so much? What is it about them that just makes you want to punch babies? Check back to see what others think about your temper. There’s also a poll posted to the left so be sure to vote for the QB you dislike most.

Top 10 Moments of the Hawkeye Season

Thanksgiving is over and some of us are recovering from a long Black Friday. Our stomachs are full, and leftover turkey is taking over the entire fridge. Family and friends are gone, and I'm sure everyone has their very own "grandpa got drunk and danced to Bing Crosby's entire 52-track Christmas album" story. Yet today feels weird, different, unwhole. It feels to long causing me to reflect on how much I really did eat on Thursday.

It's because Hawkeye Nation is sitting, waiting, hoping, wishing, for Pitt to fall off either this weekend against West Virginia, or the next against Cincinnati. We are praying Oklahoma takes out Oklahoma State at home. We are dreaming that the members of the human polls are going over the games that our beloved Hawkeyes played in. So with an amazing 10-2 season under our belt, and a BCS bowl bid close within our grasps, I want to ease the mind of my fellow corn heads. So lets take a look back at this Hawkeye season. Here is my "Top 10" plays/moments of the year, in celebration of the Hawkeyes going 10-2.

10. The Return of our Hawaiian Punch
Tony Mo has had himself one crazy career in Iowa. One of the most touted tight ends in the country during high school, Tony Mo was destined to shine in black and gold. Tony has had his share of injuries (come to think of it, he's had more than his share; he's suffered so many injuries that nobody else in a Hawkeye jersey should have gotten hurt the past 3 seasons). But this year it looked like we would finally have him for a full season, until he missed three games due to a sprained ankle. That wasn't enough to keep him out vs. Rich Rodriguez's Michigan Wolverines. Tony hulled in 6 passes for 105 yards and two huge touchdowns in his return (both touchdowns consisted of great throws by Stanzi and blocking by DJK and Allen Reisner).

Electoral College

The next major political election is just under a year away, but with the NCAA bowl season fast approaching, it’s time to take a look at the voting in the most recent polls. Now, some have said that this season has been nothing more than a Bernie Madoff-esque ponzi scheme to rip off millions of hopeful college football viewers (cough, Ivan Maisel, cough). We would contend that the contrary has happened. We are seeing some parity in college football and it makes for darn good TV. As of today, there are no fewer than six unbeaten teams out there, all of which have had their scares. We’ve seen some tradition-rich programs go down (and get embarrassed – see USC’s performances against Oregon on October 31st and against Stanford on November 14th). We’ve also seen some mid-majors creep into the top ten with nearly flawless seasons. All this makes the voting process that much more difficult for the AP and coaches (well, at least whoever is voting for them). With that, we dive deeper into a single race for a BCS bid as a sample of the many flaws with the current college voting process.

Many of the national pundits (namely from ESPN) have been way down on the Big Ten this year and have used the poor performance in bowl games last year as a prime example of why. They say the top programs are not that strong and that it’s really just Ohio State and Penn State that matter now, and that even those teams get beaten every year by teams in the PAC Ten and SEC. While we firmly believe that this is more a case of parity (good for football and evidence of a stronger conference, rather than a weaker one) and some really tough matchups (only one team beat Florida last year, but the Big Ten is down because OSU couldn’t do the trick?), we will save our propaganda for a later post. Here, we would like to focus on the race for a BCS bid between two top Big Ten teams: the Penn State Nittany Lions and the Iowa Hawkeyes.
With both teams having closed out their regular season, the sit with identical records. Both are 10-2 overall and 6-2 in conference play. So what’s a voter to do? Well, let’s take a peek at the schedules to kick things off. The Hawkeyes have the nation’s 27th ranked schedule (on the left), while the Nittany Lions’ schedule ranks 47th (on the right).

(courtesy of http://www.espn.com/)

A look here shows a few glaring differences. Proponents of Penn State would point to the big wins over Michigan State, Michigan, and Northwestern – all teams Iowa played close games with. Iowa even lost to Northwestern at home. The Hawkeye proponent would then point out the thumping Penn State took from Ohio State at home. When Iowa went to the Horseshoe, they took the Buckeyes to OT with a freshman quarterback getting his first start. Throw in the fact that the same freshman was thrown into the game against Northwestern (a game the Hawkeyes were in complete control of to this point) with a perfect season and a possible BCS National Title on the line, only to come up a touchdown short and you have a case for the Hawkeyes two losses not looking so bad. The Penn State fan comes back with, “yeah, but none of your wins were by a huge margin, we killed all those teams.” True, you did thump a few teams Iowa struggled with. Iowa had five games decided by less than a touchdown. Two of those were losses and the other three were victories for the Hawkeyes. Many of the games were closer than the score would indicate, and a few were not nearly as close as the score would indicate. The problem here is that most of the voters don’t get a chance to watch all the games, especially with most of the Big Ten kicking off at the same time. If a voter had caught all the games, they would have noticed the Nittany Lions may seem more consistent, and that consistency meant some blowout wins. However, that consistency also meant a blowout loss to OSU at home. The Hawkeyes, on the other hand, seem to be much more up and down. The key here is they play to the level of their competition. When UNI came to town way back in September, the Hawkeyes looked much like an FCS team. However, they also looked like deserving Big Ten champs when they went to the Horseshoe and took the Buckeyes to OT.

The roller coaster ride for the Hawkeyes appears to be very closely tied to the competition they are facing. That said, a voter should consider the body of work these two teams have created. The Nittany Lions have only faced two teams that will be ranked at the end of the year, losing both times by double digits at home. The Hawkeyes also only faced two teams which will be nationally ranked at the end of this season as well. However, they played both teams on the road. One came as an overtime loss by three at Ohio State. The other, an eleven-point victory over the Penn State Nittany Lions in Happy Valley. I can think of one coach that should probably be voting for PSU ahead of the Hawkeyes, but Joe Pa should probably be alone on this one. The current USA Today Coaches Poll puts Penn State at #11, a full 100 points ahead of the Hawkeyes, who sit at #13. The AP poll is slightly closer with PSU at #12 while Iowa is only seven points back at #13. The computers, however, have taken a look at the numbers and haven’t thought about tradition. The current BCS standings put the Hawkeyes at #11 with the Nittany Lions at #13. With #9 Pittsburgh still slated to play #5 Cincinnati on December 5th, it appears Iowa is destined for the top ten in the BCS. One can only hope the holiday vacations will give the AP and USA Today voters some time to take a look back over the season and the numbers. People don't forget.....

"Lucky" 7

The University of Iowa football team has already accomplished many things that some thought unlikely this season. With a 10-2 record and hopefully a BCS at large bid still to come, Hawkeye fan's are already gleaming. It has been a season with 4th quarter heroics and near heart attacks, and the Big Ten coaches and Media have realized that.

Seven Hawkeyes have been named to the Coaches and Media all-Big Ten teams. Earning these honors are Bryan Bulaga (who also has been named the Offensive Lineman of the Year), senior OG Dace Richardson, the finally healthy Tony Moeaki, Mr. Six Seconds of Hell himself Adrian Clayborn, as well as Pat Angerer and defensive backs Tyler Sash and Amari Spievey.

Angerer, Bulaga, Clayborn and Sash made the first team all-Big Ten in both the coaches and media voting. Spievey, Richardson, and Moeaki were on just the coaches' first team. The seven Hawkeyes on the all-Big Ten teams is a league high, and is well deserving considering the Hawkeyes were predicted in the preseason to finish 4th in the Big Ten behind Penn State, Ohio State, and Michigan State.

Iowa also has some players on the second team all-Big Ten as well. Senior linebacker A.J. Edds, senior center Rafael Eubanks, and the man himself, junior wide receiver DJK all landed themselves on the coaches unit. Eubanks, Moeaki, senior OT Kyle Calloway, junior free safety Brett Greenwood and Spievey were all on the media's second team.

As if that wasn't enough, we have a few coaches honorable mentions which included: the pair of junior defensive tackles in Christian Ballard and Karl Klug, Ryan Donahue and his golden boot, Calloway, Greenwood, and freshmen running back Adam Robinson.

The media's honorable mention included Donahue, Broderick Binns, Edds, DJK, Klug, the struggling place-kicker Daniel Murray, Robinson and the 4th quarter hero from Ohio Ricky Stanzi.

And finally the best part of the whole day, Kirk Ferentz won his third Big Ten Coach of the Year. He is the second winningest coach in Hawkeye football history, with a career record of 92-76. He is 80-55 at the helm of the Hawkeyes. Many thought that Jim Tressel would be walking home with this award, but Kirk truly deserved this award much more. Iowa is a 3 star program, and in the past two years he has done a terrific job at taking overlooked athletes and turning them into stars. This is just another reason why the Hawkeyes deserve the BCS bid over Penn State (post coming later).

Congratulations to all of the Hawkeye award winners and nominees. You gave us one hell of a season full of great plays, great games, and great memories. Check out the rest of the all-Big Ten award winners on ESPN.com.

Who "clocked" the Coach?

This is an email from our buddy Dave Johnson and his thoughts on Les Miles' lack of coaching from this past weekend. Dave will be adding his thoughts every couple of weeks. We encourage all of our followers to please email in any thoughts and if we truly like them, we will post them.
-The Manchise
Let’s go back in time a little bit, a journey back to early Saturday evening. I sat and watched the psychotic and former National Championship winning head coach of the LSU Tigers, Les Miles give the game away. LSU had just gone down and scored against the underdog Ole Miss Rebels to make it a 25 to 23 game with just under 2 minutes to go. The Tigers then went for the 2 point conversion and failed, giving a ton of momentum to the Rebels. Miraculously the Tigers then recovered the onside kick because of stud WR/RB/GOD Dexter McCluster seemed to be terrified of actually winning the game.
Within two plays Miles and the Tigers were inside the Ole Miss 30 yard line and there was over a minute left on the clock and two timeouts. After a couple of absolutely ridiculous play calls consisting of the Tiger wide receivers running routes to the end zone, Miles was forced to use a timeout after losing 15 yards (You were only down 2 points Les…all you needed was a field goal). Instead of taking a page out of the Jim Tressel play book, Miles had to be the ballzy coach and go for the touchdown. What happened on the next two plays was something that left me and the other gentleman in the room screaming at the TV. LSU on 3rd and 25 was sacked with 28 seconds left on the clock. Miles inexcusably did not use his final timeout until there was 9 seconds left on the clock. Yes, you read that correctly the ever-aggressive hot-head Les Miles let 19 seconds roll of the clock before FINALLY calling his last timeout.
Of course on the next play the Tigers completed a miraculous pass inside the Ole Miss ten-yard-line, but because Miles and his coaching staff had so badly mismanaged the clock there was only 1 second left and their feeble attempt of trying to "clock" the ball ended the game with no time remaining. How could a former National Championship winning head coach allow 19 seconds to run off the clock before using his final timeout? That my friends is just an unacceptable way to loose a hard fought conference game on the road. So Mr. Miles instead of screaming at your players and coaches all the damn time, maybe you should learn how to manage the clock at the end of football games.
-Dave Johnson

Iowa still in BCS hunt

While walking home from Kinnick Stadium, I had a bittersweet feeling. The sweet coming from the fact that Iowa all but closed the door on a BCS at large bid to the Fiesta Bowl (Yes, I'm already planning on a Pitt loss). The bitter feeling coming from the thought that I could have had a rose in my mouth instead of Tostito's.

From the Game: Vandenberg played like a Freshmen, but did enough to get the win. He managed the game, didn't force to much, and came up with a couple first down's in crucial situations. He had some help from fellow freshmen Brandon Wegher. Right on cue with the student section chanting "Weg-her Bombs, Weg-her Bombs" the 5'11 tailback leaped over the line, giving Iowa a 9-0 lead going into half. That was all the offense the Hawkeyes had besides a couple of field goals from Daniel Murray, which was enough because of ol' faithful, the Iowa defense. Once again, the Iowa D played flawlessly creating quick panic for Minnesota quarterback Adam Weber (who had a season quarterback rating of 119.56). The Golden Gophers were 4-20 on 3rd down attempts, and turned the ball over 3 times, in part to great coverage from the Iowa secondary as well as solid pressure from the front four and linebackers. A.J. Edds and Pat Angerer played exceptionally in their last game at THE HISTORICAL KINNICK STADIUM. Although it was an ugly win, it was still a win. This is the 4th time in the Ferentz era that he's led the Hawkeyes to a 10 win season. The pig stays in Iowa City, the Hawks are 10-2, and the Iowa faithful will watch and wait.