(Picture courtesy of http://www.trueball.com/)
We here at The Manchise have not yet commented on the Big "Bathroom" Ben fiasco and his destructive ego. For that we apologize. Now that the topic is a little over shadowed by LT's un-Hall of Fameness (that might not be a word, but for the sake of this post, it is now), I'm not going to dabble in the he said, she said stuff. Instead I'm bringing back one of my favorite posts, the Top Ten.
So without further adieu, I give to you, The Top Ten things Bathroom Ben will be doing with all of his off time:
10. Big Ben is seen taking cruises around the Pittsburgh high ways without a helmet going 80-mph. After photos become released by TMZ, Big Ben gets interviewed by the local media where he explains that he was in fact wearing a helmet. He then points to his greased back, super gelled hairdo and swears it can withstand a 15-mph crash. I believe it.
9. Find new friends that are to scared to talk to girls, let alone rope them up like small cattle and drag them to the back bathroom. That means dropping the Zack Morris' of his life for the Steve Urkel's and Samuel "Screech" Powers of the world.
8. Go to the finer restaurants in Pittsburgh such as the Monterey Bay Fish Grotto, Pamela's, DeLuca's, and the F. Tambellini Ristorante and actually pay for a meal.
7. Try using Shape Up's to maintain his football figure. They are endorsed by Joe Montana after all.
6. Ask Tiger Woods to take him to the places he likes to get his game on (because we all know Tiger hangs with more mature, respectable women).
5. Get an exclusive copy of Madden 2011 for PS3 and trade himself to the Buccaneers. Then go 0-16 on the rookie setting and realize how lucky he has it.
4. Go back to the University of Miami (Ohio) and finish his senior year. Chicks love senior football players.
3. While at the University of Miami (Ohio) join a women's activist group to prove to the media that he is taking steps in the right direction (a la Mike Vick with PETA). Little do they know that Bathroom Ben is only doing it to hang out with more college chicks.
2. Play 18-holes of golf with Terry Bradshaw which ends up in a bloody battle. All events captured by TMZ.
1 comments:
Quality top ten, think about sending this to Letterman, the only thing I'd point out is that Big Ben will not go back to college. Not because it's impossible but because he's scared of the last team to beat him during his college career. That's right sports fans, I'm talking about IOWA.
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