The Wizards: Where John Wall goes to die

Oh Johnnyyyyy! Oh Johnnyyyyyyy, Johnny, Johnny! Are you thinking you should have stayed at Kentucky for a couple more years yet?

If I were you, I would be. In one quick month, you will be leaving one of the best college coaches and programs, to go to one of the worst NBA teams in the leagues history.

I hope you enjoy Washington and all of the "glory" their franchise has in it's past. I hope you enjoy playing for a team whose last relevant year was 2004-2005, when they posted their best record (45-37) in 26 years. Just as a reference, the top six seeded playoff teams in the Eastern Conference had a better record than this, as well as all eight seeded playoff teams in the Western Conference. Pretty exciting team to be drafted too.

Oh and don't forget that this team was dismantled this past year because of a little gun issue. Do you remember hearing about that? Yeah, I thought so.

Tonight, the Washington Wizards, who were the fifth most likeliest team to win the lottery with a 10.3% chance, just crept away with their first lottery pick since 2001, and you Johnny Boy will be their most prized possession. You could see the excitement during the Lottery Special on ESPN.

With Irene Pollin wearing her late husband Abe Pollin's 1978 Bullets championship ring, Washington snuck past the 76ers who had a 5.3% chance of winning (second overall), New Jersey who had a 25% chance of winning (third overall), Timberwolves who had a 19.9% chance of winning (fourth overall), and the Kings who had a 15.6% chance of winning (fifth overall). But the best part of the special was how the lovely Irene reacted to winning you John.


After the 76ers were announced as the second overall pick, Irene, who was almost falling asleep standing up, got a little nudge and realized that she and her Washington Bullets, I mean Wizards, did the improbable and won the lottery. Her reaction was less than thrilled. It was more like she saw her puppy get hit by a van, then the driver came out and kicked the dead carcass. I don't want to rip Pollin apart for her reaction to winning the number one pick in a spectacular draft, but come on Irene! YOU JUST WON THE FIRST ROUND PICK, AND THE BULLETS, I MEAN WIZARDS SUCK! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING!



But it's not such a good thing for John Wall. He is going to a team that was tied for 22nd in the league in turnovers, 27th in assists, 26th in points scored, 24th in field goal percentage, and on a lighter note they were 16th in opponents points per game.

He is being drafted to a team that had to pick up Earl Boykins at the local Taco Bell, pull him from behind the counter, and played him in 67 games. A team whose leading scorer was Gilbert Arenas, and he only played in 32 games. We are talking about a team that played a guy named Fabricio Oberto 11.4 minutes a game. Who the hell is Fabricio Oberto?

I understand why a guy with Wall's talent would want to jump to the NBA and the money is outrageous. But I don't think anybody wants to be stuck fighting for the ball with Gil' for the next 20 years.

Who would honestly be excited about entering that train wreck of a team?

Enjoy counting your money Johnny, because that is going to be the only positive thing that is going to come out of playing with the Wizards.

Oh and I'm calling it now, John Wall ends up being a bust.

I think one of two things is going to happen: 1. He is going to have altercation after altercation with the team, their coach, their front office, and the scrub players they march on the court night in and night out. He then decides to stop showing up on time, misses a few games, and takes the Albert Haynesworth/Stephon Marbury approach, leaving the front office no choice but to trade him away to the Knicks, Clippers, or Warriors. 2. Gilbert and Wall play some gangster card game in the teams locker room and of course an altercation happens because Gilbert is a cheap ass. Wall says that he will bring a Bazooka to his house and blow it up. Gilbert, who actually owns a Bazooka, brings it to the locker room, it goes off, blows a hole into The Verizon Center; which causes David Stern to literally poop himself.

Call me negative, but I can't help but think John Wall got screwed and the likelihood of him being a bust is higher than him being an All-Star. We are talking about a guy that couldn't get along with John Calipari, one of the best, laid back, do what you want coaches in college basketball. Wall needs to be THE man on the roster. He needs to facilitate, distribute, and be in control and as long as Gilbert is on the Wizards roster, Wall will not grow as he should.

But hey maybe the Wiz can use this as a good enough reason to trade Gil away. But until that happens, Washington is the place John Wall, the All-Star, will die.