A Janice Dickinson series

If you have been waiting for a Finals post from us here at The Manchise, I personally apologize for the lack of thoughts. I honestly have not been able to gather myself after the first two roller coaster-like games. But now that the Lakers demolished the Celtics in game three, and the nation had to bear witness to another awful night from two of the Big Four, I'm ready. I'm ready to kick this shit into overdrive.

Since 1985 (when the NBA started using the 2-3-2 format), the team that wins game three after a one to one tie, has won the Larry O'Brien Trophy 100% of the time. 100%! The 2010 Finals looks to be transcending towards that same trend. After letting the series slip 2-1 in favor of the Lakers, the Celtics have one of the biggest mountains to climb. They have given a team that consists of two jolly giants, an assassin, a border line psychopath, a point guard that couldn't beat Billy Hoyle one on one, and a Kardashian's man bitch a healthy handful of confidence; and you don't want to give a Kobe Bryant led team more confidence than they already have.

It is astounding how ugly the core players have played for Boston in two of the three games. When your most consistent energy players are Rajon Rondo and Glen "Big Baby" Davis/Tony Allen/Nate Robinson, you have a problem.

Game one was an absolute nightmare. Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant, and Ron Artest ran a mockery on Boston. They wreaked havoc on the defensive end causing 13-turnovers on seven blocks and six steals. They also took to the lane offensively and filled it defensively, creating problems for the undersized Celtic big men. Though Big Baby has played very well up to this point, he just cannot match the overwhelming size of Gasol, Odom, and Bynum. He looks like the overweight 6th grader at the YMCA that tries to take on the taller high school kids. The fat short kid never prevails.

But where was Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen for the entire game? Well, they were to busy riding the pine and complaining about the officiating. Hey who needs to give a shit about stealing a game in L.A. anyways?

Game two, arguably still should have gone to the Lakers. Even with Ray Allen shattering Finals records by by making eight of eleven three pointers, the team was still tied going into the fourth quarter (which was courtesy of Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce laying yet another Finals egg).

But don't worry, the two "leaders" made sure to yap off the ear of every official standing on the Lakers home court.

The NBA, where whining and bitching happens!

Game three was a green nightmare. Ray Allen, the player that only two nights before could not miss even if he was perfectly double teamed by Hasheem Thabeet and Yao Ming, went 0-13 on the night; one shot away from tying an NBA record for most missed shots in a Finals game. Allen didn't seem like he would be able to make a lay-up on a Little Tikes basketball hoop.

Paul Pierce's corpse was present again, lending a helping hand with a beautiful 15-point, two rebound night.

But what makes that game so hard to bear is the fact that Kevin Garnett finally showed up. Finally! Scoring a Finals high 25-points, his performance, and the lack of performance from the surrounding cast, has got to leave a sour taste in the mouths of every fan that scooted into the Garden Tuesday night.

The Celtics more than likely will only get one more game like that out of KG's fragile bones. He has to many miles built up on the ol' legs (but his jaw still moves as well as the rest of them) and expecting him to average a 25 and 6 for the rest of the playoffs is crazy talk.

To make matters worse, Rajon Rondo seemed to have transformed into his old defensive self; letting the opposition blow past him possession after possession, after possession. Derek Fisher had 16 points on Rondo, which was more than Gasol, Artest, Bynum, Odom and the rest of the Laker bench, Pierce, Perkins, Allen, Rondo, and the entire Celtics bench.

Is there anything wrong with that picture?

When Fisher out scores every player but Kobe Bryant and KG, the apocalypse is near, right? If not the apocalypse, it has to be the sign of the end to the Big Three's career in Boston.  Fisher was supposed to be the Lakers weak link.  He was supposed to fuel Rondo's game, which in return would fuel the Big Three. 

But this is how the series has played out, which to me, is a lot like Janice Dickinson's face; chopped, ugly, and extremely edgy.

But hey Paul Pierce still might be right when he said "we're not coming back to L.A.!", because Kobe Bryant and the Lakers just might hoist up the Finals trophy in Boston, while he limps back to the locker room while KG throws a temper tantrum as David Stern watches on.