Full Frontal Nudity

Full Disclosure: A Disclaimer for all Potential Readers
So today marks the dawning of a new age: The Age of Aquarius . An age of (dis)enlightenment and (lack of) knowledge. Today marks birth of a new entity: The Manchise. Another place for you to kill time instead of doing homework, finishing up things around the house or knocking out that last bit of work at the office. Today is a great day for the world, but before you commit to killing any of that time and reading anything on this site, we thought it best to provide full disclosure; a little detail as to who we are and what this is.
Simply put, The Manchise, as the title would indicate, is all that is man, rolled into our nice little franchise (no really, there’s a franchise, I swear). It’s our thoughts, our opinions, our way. So why do you care? You probably don’t. But as a wise fantasy guru I listen to once said, we don’t really care if you read, you already wasted your time by stopping in (by that I mean, thanks for dropping by, be sure to come back again soon).  If, by the grace of God, you find a few things interesting or amusing, stick around. If you are really ambitious, feel free to drop us a line and let us know what you hate about us and why we are so horrible at life. If not, thanks for your view, tell your friends, follow us on Twitter, go watch Lou Holtz get on his knees for Tim Tebow, we don’t really care.
So first things first, who are we? Well, we are a couple of college-age (ish) guys with a love for sports (among other things) and way too much time on their hands (obviously). Jonah is an Iowa boy who just graduated college and is contemplating suicide now that he’s in the “real-world”. A die hard Cardinals fan, with an infatuation with TOP Gun. Jerry hails from the Chicago suburb of Plainfield and is still attending the University of Iowa. A die hard Sox fan himself, we share a passion for more than sports, we hate that cubbie blue. Those two short sentences go a long way in hinting at the views and opinions you can expect from The Manchise going forward. With that in mind, we dig deep into the full disclosure of what you can expect in the future. Listed below are 25 things you have to know before reading anything else on this site.
1. We are in no way, shape or form experts on any subject matter, nor do we pretend to be. If you have taken the time to find this place, you probably know more about what we are talking about than we do.
2. Because we know so little about anything, we do not contend that anything we say or do here is factually correct. In fact, it is more likely that it is factually incorrect.
3. Some (or most) of what you see here may, in fact, be molded after other places we have seen or things we have heard (though we will never actually copy anything). We will do our best to throw up links, photos and videos of the stuff we like and let you know where we get things from, but as aforementioned, we are not experts at anything (especially blogging or copyright law) so we will probably miss a few (ton) of things.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff. The stuff that will really shape what we talk about and how. This is a listing of all the things we hold near and dear to our hearts, followed by the things that make us wake up at 3 AM in a cold sweat to throw up.

Is this Heaven? No, it’s Iowa (what we love)…

4. All things Iowa Hawkeye – Football, Basketball (yes, even this year), right on down to drunk freshmen in the ped mall
5. Most things Chicago (we’ll get back to this a little later…) – Da Bulls, Da Bears, Da SOX, Da Sauasage, Da Ditka.
6. Some things St. Louis – the Cardinals, the Rams (what have you done for me lately?)
7. Peyton Manning – like John Madden man-crush on Brett Favre love
8. Top Gun – I got a need, a need for speed.
9. Christmas Vacation – like the Chevy Chase kind
10. All things Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen, Steve Carell and Paul Rudd
11. Ok, just about any good movie – Does stuff blow up? Is it classic sports? Do my (face) cheeks hurt?
12. Fantasy Sports
13. Gambling – though not successfully (and we do no promote it)
14. Some ESPN personalities – Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, Nate Ravitz, Kenny Mayne, Scott Van Pelt, etc.
15. Beer (please drink responsibly)

Mommy, I think I’m gonna be sick (what we hate)…

16. Iowa State – yeah, you could have guessed
17. The Chicago Cubs – is there anything worse than several hundred obnoxious Chicago frat boys crying about this being the year?
18. Kobe vs. Lebron
19. Tim Tebow – the reason Lou Holtz sounds so funny is, in fact, because when he’s not on camera he has Tebow’s manchise is his mouth.
20. The SEC – Tebow plays there, not to mention the poor officiating, incredible bias by the media, and the fact that it’s the deep south in general (sorry ya’ll, but you got the SEC, NASCAR and Cracker Barrel)
21. Work/homework – we’re here aren’t we?
22. Chase Utley’s hair
23. Ivan Maisel – see Tebow and SEC references above
24. The New York Yankees
25. The “Wildcat” Formation

Now, this is not to say that we won’t stray from these views/opinions, but they will likely impact the content of this site. As time draws on, we may develop other, even more upsetting biases that will shape our discussions. If you don’t like or agree with our views, again, we don’t care. Thanks for dropping by, we'd love to have you back sometime. If you disagree that strongly, drop us a line . Hell, get all Ochocinco on us and tweet about it. We’d love to hear your thoughts as well (reference #1 above).
As this, our first post, draws to an end, I get a little teary-eyed and have a knot in my stomach. It is no longer Christmas Eve, but Christmas Day. The anticipation is over, the seal has been broken. It is Christmas morning and it’s time for some presents (well, at least some crappy opinions to get all riled up over). Thanks for stopping by, we hope you enjoy a little bit of it (who am I kidding, we don’t really care). Come back soon, and don't forget to tell your friends.