"Bear" Naked in the Cold

(Picture from bearfansunited.org)

Are you ready for some football? A Monday night party! Well, hold the dip. What should have been an intriguing NFC North match up, could now be an effortless crippling of the Bears. Fans are not happy with the effort from players, coaches, and the front office and are trying to do their part to show their displeasure. Members of the "5th Phase", an Internet fan club, already have put up billboards addressed to the McCaskey family begging for a change. They are also attempting a walk in after kick off tonight, which will really kick the front office in the ass (What is this a rerun of Saved By The Bell where all of the students walk into their classes late because Principal Belding says there are no funds for Prom this year?). Whether you agree with this or not, the Bears do need to make some changes (I'm not sure about Lovie yet, but I think Turner and Angelo need a first class ticket to anywhere but here). So because there is not much else to write about, and I am expecting the worst tonight, I thought a running diary would be perfect for this "special" game; complete with an in game counter of Jay Cutler Poop Faces, shoulder thrusts, and of course the famous "Pissed Off Chin Strap Pull" (This Link "bears" all of these three traits, look for the "Pissed Off Strap Pull" during the last seconds, it's classic).


Pre-Game:

As if the Bears secondary wasn't bad enough, more defensive injuries have Brett Favre licking his chops. Al Afalava and Kevin Payne are sidelined with injuries, which means Craig "I Can't Cover My Grandmother" Steltz and Josh Bullocks will start at safety. IF Favre even has to throw tonight (I'm thinking AD is going to run wild), he isn't going to have a problem.

In case anyone was wondering the Bears have given up 33-turnovers this season (stat courtesy of Jaws). Oh and Brett Favre is 12-3 at Soldier Field and 5-0 against the Bears on Monday night. Hopefully his brittle bones can't take the cold, because the Bears are in trouble otherwise.

First Quarter:

15:00- Well I guess the fan "walk in" didn't work. Soldier Field is packed and still supporting our Bears (that is what I like to see. This isn't grade school guys).

14:55- Jay Cutler just walked on the field, and my mother of all people says, "It seems like he is saying to himself 'OHHH do I have to go out there again?'". Spot on Mom, spot on.

14:13- Jay Cutler almost throws the first pick of the night, throwing it right into the hands of the defense. Could he really not wait a whole minute before he made us hate ourselves?

14:09- Ladies and Gentlemen we have had our first Jay Cutler "Pissed Off Strap Pull", and Poop Face. I'm sure it will not be the first. Bears first drive, 46-seconds.

13:53- The Bear defense stuffs AD like a Thanksgiving Turkey! Tommy Harris actually penetrated and didn't fall into the fetal position after being touched by an offensive linemen. Not bad for a team that is ranked 26th against the run.

10:39- The pocket starts to fold on Cutler and he looks like he's going down by Jared Allen, but Cutler instead of forcing a crappy pass actually scrambled. The throw down field complete to Desmond Clark. Use those legs young man!

8:29- The first Jay Cutler Shoulder Thrust. Why does he do that? Does he have OCD, or is it a nervous habit? I can't be the only one that notices it.

7:29- Forced pass by Cutler in the Red Zone and tipped away. Anytime the Bears get the ball within their opponents 20-yard line, they should take a 5/10-yard penalty to move them back, because Cutler sucks under these kind of conditions. And for those counting at home, we now have two "POSP's" (Pissed Off Strap Pull's).

7:24- Field Goal, Good as Gould. 3-0 Bears.

6:40- Favre's first pass complete for a first down. So easy, so composed. Oh what an offensive line can do for a quarterback. Are you watching Mr. Angelo?

4:50- AD gets the toss and bounces to the outside and makes a chump out of a wimpy Peanut Tillman. That was embarrassing. It looked like an older brother in the back yard with his two little brothers. Just throwing them to the ground and stepping on them while he does it.

2:18- The cold must be working to the Bears favor. Favre after a beautiful drive, fumbled running away from the pass rush. It has to be the cold affecting the arthritis in his hands! Oh the luxuries of playing in a Dome and warm places all season.

1:27- I decided that there is no reason to keep counting the number of faces Cutler makes. The guy truly has a permanent Poop Face.

:26- Cutler doesn't see anyone open down field, and instead of forcing a pass, he scrambled again. If that wasn't enough, he then delivered a hit and gained a few extra yards. So far he looks like the tough quarterback Chicago thought they were getting.

Second Quarter:


15:00- Forte pulls out his inner AD, and goes from right (breaking tackle after tackle) all the way back to the left to gain yardage on a play that looked doomed to fail. Great effort by Forte, he's looked real good so far.

13:28- 3-POSP's after another incomplete pass on third down in the Red Zone. But the Bears DO put some more points on the board, 6-0.

9:08- A 16-yard punt by the Vikings gives the Bears really good field position. Lets see if they can go up by two scores and put some actual pressure on Favre.

8:13- Cutler, on play action, hits Olsen in the seam for a 28-yard completion. Then the Bears decide to speed things up, and the very next pass, almost picked. Keep it slow boys, keep it slow.

6:50- I didn't get the opportunity to watch Cutler while he was at Denver, so maybe a Broncos fan can help me out. Did Cutler always look like he was a) about to cry, b) pissed off, c) constantly smelling dog poop or d) all of the above? I really don't know how to describe this look, Poop Face just doesn't fit the tenacity that is Jay Cutler.

6:35- Cutler moves around (yet again!) and finds Aromashodu (who makes a brilliant catch on a sailing pass). Another fantastic play by this receiver (he's had some flashes of brilliance that a quarterback wants in a possession wide-out).

5:56- Well Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bears are absolutely hot in Chicago's drastic cold. Cutler just made one hell of a throw to Olsen in the endzone, giving the Bears a 13-0 lead. Cutler is having fun, making great reads, and is rocking this Vikings defense. Bear Down, Chicago Bears! And to top it all off, we got a new type of strap pull, an "excited" one. Either way that is four on the night (that we've seen on TV, but I'm sure there have been more).

4:55- Poor throw by Favre on an All Out Blitz, forcing another three and out. The Bears should make Solider Field a Dome, and turn the temperature to 20-degrees for all home games, because this defense in cold weather really brings out the best in them.

4:39- Two POSP's after an under thrown deep ball to Aromashodu. Six all together.

1:45- Favre yet again has no where to go, NO WHERE! The pressure has been insane, and I as well as the rest of the Chicago Bears fans out there want to know, where has this pressure been all season? Another three and out for the Vikings.

:45- Cutler over threw the very fast Johnny Knox and we can tally up two more POSP's. That would be number seven and eight.

:03- A little fight just occurred between my father and I about what just happened. The Bears had the ball close to the red zone with 23-seconds and one timeout. Instead of rushing for one more play, Cutler walked away and let the clock run, calling a timeout with three seconds left. The fans and my father disagree with this call, wanting one more play for the endzone. I on the other hand was happy the Bears played it safe here, allowing them to go up by three scores (in case we all forgot, Cutler has a little problem completing passes to Bear players in these type of situations). Either way Robbie Gould comes out, buries the kick, and the Bears are dominating with a 16-0 lead at halftime.

Third Quarter:

13:05- That piece of..... well you know, Bernard Berrian just dropped what would have been a huge 3rd down grab. The Vikings cannot seem to put a drive together since Favre fumbled in the first quarter. Lets keep pouring it on boys!

12:08- I have never seen some of these run plays that Turner is calling right now. What a beautiful misdirection play-call (it only took him 14-games to figure out that running up the middle just doesn't cut it).

10:13- Knox quits on a route, and Cutler is LIVID! POSP nine and ten. I love it (when we are winning).

8:38- Favre finds Berrian deeeeeeeep. He was camping in double coverage, just waiting for the throw.

8:28- GOOD COVERAGE PEANUT! Pass Interference in the endzone called on Tillman while playing man coverage on Sidney Rice. How many more times does this man need to get beat?

8:17- Ball on the 1-yard line and everybody in the world knew who was getting the ball. AD bounces to the outside for the score. This drive could have lit the fire under Favre's old ass, which scares me. Idonije blocked the extra point, keeping it a 10-point Bears lead. Cutler needs to put a little drive together right now to keep the Vikings in their place.

8:06- Outstanding return by Daniel Manning, phewww. He showed a great burst, and great moves to get the Bears the field position they need to put some more points on the board.

6:30-Cutler finds a wide open Desmond Clark off of play action to cap off a 4-play, 34-yard drive for a touchdown. This offense has looked amazing! Where has this team, this quarterback, this defense, and this offensive coordinator been all year? Bears up, 23-6.

5:05- This will be marked as the second time that AD ran right over Peanut Tillman. He plowed him over. He buried him alive. He bulldozed him. He pretty much put him in a suplex, and threw him down. Peterson is running like a man possessed, and that worries me.

2:01- Favre and the offense rolled down the field with the spread offense, and Brett wanted to keep it that way on 1st and goal. Brad Childress had better ideas, and sent out the goal line set. Chester Taylor gets stuffed, and Brett gives a little "told you so" look to Childress. I'm sorry Brad, but when you have Favre as your QB, send in a play based on what you think, but if he wants something else, let him be. It's BRETT FREAKING FAVRE!

1:18- Favre gets the spread offense he originally wanted, and delivers for a 6-yard strike to Shiancoe. 23-13 Bears. If the Vikings keep running and tiring out this defense, look out Bears fans, look out.

1:12- Knox went down, and it looked nasty. It doesn't look good.....

:07- And there it is, the 26th pick of the year. Cutler waited and waited and waited and waited, and instead of throwing it away, he forced it (like he has done all season). Just manage, that is darn right in excusable Jay. Your up by 10 at home! POSP count at 12.

Fourth Quarter:

13:11- On 2nd and 20, the Bears send a blitz, leaving Idonije covering Shiancoe (not a very good matchup EVER!). After a spectacular catch by Shiancoe's, Steltz nailed Tillman after the two went for diving tackles. Tillman took a shot to the ribs, and is now being carried off on a stretcher. Broken ribs? I think so...

12:48- Tommie Harris stuffed AD once again on 3rd and 2. Thank GOD!

12:10- Longwell hits the field goal, making it 23-16 Bears.

7:30- Brett is doing what Brett has done his whole career, leading his team down the field. The Vikings are knocking on the door and the Bears defense looks like they have all season, tired and slow. The Tillman injury seems to be one to many.

5:49- Peterson waltz' into the endzone after a drive I dream about from the Bears. A game that looked to be in the grasps of the Bears, is now tied at 23-all. The Vikings have sucked the life away from not only the defense but the offense and stadium.

5:39- I spoke to soon (it was a reverse jinx, I swear!), Manning picks the ball out of the air on a dead sprint and goes for 60-yards putting the Bears on the 21-yard line. And Soldier Field is back on their feet!

4:55- Cutler, Cutler, Cutler, Cutler, JAY FREAKING CUTLER! Jay connects on a big time throw to Earl Bennet for a huge touchdown, putting the Bears back on top 30-23. We also saw two more POSP's, bringing the total to 14.

:16- Brett Favre and Sidney Rice just caused 300,000 suicides in the Chicago-land area. 30-30

Overtime:
12:20- Are you kidding me Robbie? Are you serious right now? In Overtime? At Home? We had that game won! Why meeeeeeeee?

11:25- Three sacks in row! Suck on that Favre! Way to spike the ball too! You should have been flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct you old fart!

10:22- This overtime is so intense and I'm not sure why. Perhaps because the Bears showed up in a big game for once? Perhaps because we usually get routed in overtime? Perhaps because this is what Bears football is like? Either way, Soldier Field is livid right now, and Robbie Gould might possibly want a security guard or two if they lose.

9:21- What a RIP by Hillenmeyer!!!!! That could not have been any closer! OH MY WORD, OH MY WORD! The good ol' Achilles heel bites AD in the ass again. Bears football.

FINAL- In perfect fashion, Cutler connects with Aromashodu on a long touchdown pass and the sweet sounds of Bear Down, Chicago Bears is blarring through the speakers at Soldier Field. This is the type of win you want to carry into next season. The Bears are not playing for much, but this is a type of game that brings a team together! Jay played like the quarterback we thought he would, and he was the biggest difference in this game. I've waited a while to say this, Bears WIN, Bears WIN! And for those that really care, the final POSP count ended at 18, with over 20 shoulder thrusts. That little bit of OCD/nervous habit must have been the reason for the big play by Cutler tonight.