P.S. Post: Adrian Clayborn

(Picture from gazetteonline.com)

Every week we have a post that contains a hypothetical letter to any given person. This letter contains 100% of our personal opinion, so please don't take to much offense (but if you disagree please comment). It can be a mean letter (like all of the companies that support Tiger Woods are receiving from angry feminist groups) or a nice letter (like the letters Ron Artest is receiving from the company that makes Henessy). Whatever the subject, whatever the point, WE fully expect that the person the letter is directed too, will never read it (but if any of you out there happen to read this, and can in fact pass it along, like a blog post man, WE would greatly appreciate it).

Dear Adrian Clayborn,

Oh what a year it has been, but I'll be honest with you Adrian, (can I call you Adrian?). I miss joking about how you are the Iowa Hawkeye version of Predator, looking at the quarterback as your next meal. I miss seeing you do half assed calisthenics. I miss seeing you shake your dreads back and forth while you pump up the team before the game. I miss watching the linemen in front of you shit his pants. I know what your thinking, you have another stalker, but I assure you, that is the opposite of what I am. I am a student at Iowa, and a Hawkeye fan. Adrian I have a goal and intent with this letter. That goal may seem over my head. It may seem outlandish, selfish, and impossible. But it is a goal, and I will try to do my best to accomplish it.

What is that goal you may be wondering right about now (I'm really hoping somehow you are reading this. I am going to post this to every possible Hawkeye facebook site until someone that knows you, sends it to you. I mentioned I wasn't a stalker right?)? Well, I want to take on the task of trying to convince you to stay for your senior year. Now, last year Iowa fans all tried to do this with Shonn Greene and it didn't work. Right after the Outback Bowl win, he announced that he will fore go his senior season and enter the NFL draft. It was inevitable considering Shonn's age (and yes I want to say we are on a name to name basis considering WE rubbed shoulders at Spo Co once). So with Sunday's news that you will be playing at least one more game at Land Shark Stadium in the 2010 Orange Bowl, I couldn't help but think this is going to happen again. I am worried that after the bowl game (win or lose) that the Hawkeye football team will be losing the likes of you and other important parts of our defense to the draft (there are rumors, I won't add to them, but I can't handle losing you as well as Spievey... opps).

Yo Adrian, think about this. Next year on Defense, Norm and Kirk will only be plugging in two players at the linebacker position. IF (and I strongly want to push the word IF) Spievey leaves you'll have to plug in three. Not bad. Now Adrian think about this. The offense is losing Tony Mo (but the Hawks have a 4 star recruit coming in and Reisner played plenty to step into the starting role), Dace (Reiff stepped in and has played very well for a redshirt Freshy), Kyle Calloway, Raf, and Trey. So in all, your Hawkeyes are losing seven starters (that we know of). With a terrific recruiting class coming in, and the nucleus of starters staying together, your senior season looks like it could be even better than this year. Now add a healthy Jewel plus Robinson and Wegher, a senior quarterback in Stanzi, two spectacular wide-outs in DJK and McNutt, a defensive line that played the whole year together and that spells another 10 win season (if not more).

Yo Adrian there is more, there is so much more. You could be a part of an Iowa team that may beat Penn State three times in a row, a feat that only Michigan (1997-2002, and again from 2005-2007), Alabama (1987-1989) and Iowa (2000-2004) have done in the Joe Pa era. That's pretty amazing, and considering your past with Penn State (let me refresh your memory with this beautiful video), I think you would love having this attributed to your name for the rest of your career. You would be a leader, not only on defense but for the entire team. You bring a swag, a passion, you are "Mr. Six Seconds of Hell" damnit. You are the Diana Ross and Klug, Ballard and Binns are your Supremes (no disrespect to any of you, I truly love you all). You are "Kool" while the rest of the defense is your "Gang", and with you in the line-up for one more season, Hawkeye nation will be celebrating. You are the centerpiece to Norm's simplistic, yet stunning defensive schemes. One more year would do so much good for everyone. We would add to our national spotlight, which brings in more recruits (and you know you want your Hawkeyes to start landing big recruits). You are in the middle of a time that could bring back supremacy to Iowa and the Big Ten.

No matter the outcome of the Orange Bowl, Iowa will be ranked going into next season. That only means that the nation will get to watch you week in and week out once again. With all of that television exposure, you can expect your draft status to sky rocket. Add the fact that you will get to play Penn State, Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Ohio State at the HISTORICAL KINNICK STADIUM, and I think that is a successful formula. On top of all of that, you have increased your numbers the past three season, so I have reason to believe that you will only do the same next year. I mean look at these numbers:

YEAR TACKLES SOLO AST SACK

2007 19 3 16 2

2008 50 15 35 2

2009 61 27 34 9

Where will 2010 go? Adrian, I think the sky is the limit. Not only would Iowa be returning a top 25 defense, but will have a sure shot to take the Big Ten Title. As far as you, I see "The Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year" in your future. I see 70 tackles, and 10-12 sacks. I see Mel Kiper talking about how you are a legit FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK. With one more year you will only get better. You'll be quicker and stronger. You'll beat these Big Ten linemen like they stole something. You'll be one of the best Defensive Ends in the country Adrian! Invision this with me, invision! NFL scouts will be lining up to see you play (although I think they already have). And hopefully you get to return to Florida or California where there will still be "lots of girls".

So there it is Adrian. There is my argument (and I ask for all Hawkeye fans to please, please, please comment on this article in hopes that maybe Adrian reads this, only adding to my argument). We want you back, we want to see number 94 plowing over Terrelle Pryor, Scott Tolzien, and whatever quarterback Rich Rod throws out there. Give us one more season! Give us one more time to say "ADRIANNNNN, ADRIANNNNNN, YO ADRIANNNNNN". Give the nation one more season to see what six seconds of hell looks like. Give us one more season to watch you shake your dreads after big defensive stops. Just please, please, please let us send you off right on Senior Day!

Sincerely,

The Manchise

P.S.If anyone, and I mean anyone reads this, and knows Adrian we ask you to please send him this site, send him this link, send him our thoughts. Tell him there are some crazy Hawkeye fans that pretend they are real sports writers that wrote a fake letter to you. Tell him anything, we don't care! Just let him know that we want him back.